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Artist Eminem
Song lyrics The Real Slim Santa from Various Songs album.

May i have your attention please?
May i have your attention please?
Will the real slim santa please stand up?
I repeat
Will the real slim santa please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

You all act like you never seen santa before
Toys all over your floor
Who the hell you think brought them?
It wasn't drunk dad or your mother that whore
It was me and now im skinny and i tell you the score
It's the return of christmas
But not the jolly fat elf
My ass got so big i couldn't wipe it myself
My doctor said santa you never looked worse
Lose 200 pounds or your hearts gonna burst
Everybody loved me big and fat
Hohoho
Big ass santa look at him walking around
His belly like jelly
Have some more egg nod
They didn't give shit if my arteries clogged
So i said fuck them and i joined a gym
Started eating loaf and cookies drinking milk that was skim
I lost so much weight that i can see my candy cane
And mr.s clause is happy i can fuck her again
Your name is on my list!Your name is on my list!
And if your nice not naughty i might give you a little gift
And heres a message to you if your a big fat slob
If your guts in the way a girl won't bob on your nob
You can't expect a hoe to gobble your goo
If you sit there eating twinkies watching Scooby-Doo
If your nothing but chubby
No girl wants a fat hubby
You'll end up working construction
Your love life will fly in ruins and destruction
By the time your 30 you'll be asking santa for liposuction
But if your thin you'll get seduction
Underneath the mistletoe
Sing the chorus and it goes

(Chorus)
Im slim santa yes im the real cringle
All you fly girl like my balls cause they jingle
So won't the real slim santa
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up
Cause im slim santa yes im the st nick
All you other fat santas can suck my fat dick
So won't the real slim santa
Please stand up
Please stand up
Please stand up

Hohoho I guess theirs a slim santa in all of us
On doter on blitzen lets get the fuck out of here


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